Embrace it.

Hey.

    I took a long time, right? Ermm... I've been writing since I was 11 years old, now 10 years have passed and I'm almost reached 22 years old. It's been a long journey and with no recognition. I used to give up. Once, two times, three times, and then I pick up my pen again and continue to write.

    There's nothing more than the continuous idea that makes me hold the pen again. A few years have gone by from the first day I wrote my first novel and until now. There are so many stories left in my secret space and I'm not letting it all out. There are unfinished stories and finished ones.

    And, maybe I delete one of them a few years ago when I'm too exhausted with all the rejection. I used to seek others' recognition, instead of mine. And, that makes me easy to give up. But, sometimes the idea kept crawling inside my hand, and I open up a new document. Once again.

    Today, I want to tell all of you that I will embrace my foolish self. My younger self write several novels and get rejected. Too bad that the one I write in my high school years was deleted, and left with just a few novels after I graduate high school. I wish to tell all of you about my growth, but I cannot even do that. But from Queen until silhouette (I write this right now, at the moment, but still doesn't no way near the ending yet, and I'm quite busy to continue writing this story, so maybe we'll talk about it when it's already finished. You see, I don't want to give people fake hope), I continue to grow in all aspects.

    Just like how Taylor Swift wrote in her song, how can a person know everything in 17 but nothing in 22? I have grown up too much compared to my younger self. And, I apologize for my mistakes and my cowardly self that chooses to give up because of others' disapproval of her. 

    It took a lot of courage to be here right now. To update all my stories that I used to despise before. Because it reflects my foolishness as an innocent, naive little child who knows nothing about the world.

    Sometimes, your message gives me the strength to keep going. And, I wish I can continue to go on despite my busy schedule and day.

    I changed my pen's name. No longer using my name, I decided to keep myself private and choose aphrodite as my pen name. I wish to spread love within my writing. And, continue to grow despite my lacking.

    I'll try to update Queen once a week, or twice a week. And, it's unedited. It's raw. I told you before, that I want to embrace my foolish self, and here I am.

    Updating the novel that is full of mistakes, hoping to become a little bit confident in me. Myself.

    I hope you can do that too. Embracing your mistakes, and your foolish self. Because that's the one who makes up who you are today. It took a lot of courage, but sometimes self-recognition and self-validation are better than seeking people's recognition.

    Thank you.

Yours truly,

aphrodite